To borrow from Duy Anh Nhan Duc, under the apparent fragility of doubt there is a vigorous and skillful soul that is untamed, free and wild. The church would do well to recognize this and find a way to be comfortable with it.
I offer myself up as an example hoping that it can be an encouragement to you. This was specific to me and about one thing in particular. For you it can be something else. Life being what it is and the last year having been so strange, is it possible you’ve latched on to one thing and given it more power over you than it deserves? If you were to take a moment and take a step back, can you identify any overwhelming negative feelings and thoughts toward an issue, or someone? Ask yourself, what is the cost of that “obsession” in your daily life? Is it perhaps time for some form of realignment?
If it’s crazy to question and to doubt and if it’s crazy to change your beliefs (or some of them, little or small) even when it’s quite different from what you previously held to be true and might be contrary to your church community or church denomination’s preferred beliefs and if it’s crazy to be your true self as you journey and navigate life, well, ok then, I’m gonna show you crazy.
Is the church an essential service? How can it be? The church is not a service or a consumer product. The church can be of service but it is not in and of itself a service.
I’m certainly not perfect, you’re not perfect and your religious leader sure as hell ain’t perfect either. The more they can be free to be imperfect, the better leaders they will be.