When God Whispers Your Name

“Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.

And a voice said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

1 Kings 19:11-13 (NLT)

Back in July of 2021 I wrote about my breakup with God. This was many years in the making and was no small decision but that is where I was. Saying so scared the hell out of me but there was no other way.

“It’s time to move on,” I wrote, “what could appropriately be labeled as the most influential, life defining and life shaping relationship of my life has come to an end.”

It took a little over a year before I felt comfortable and at peace in this new season of my life. I had some moments of nostalgia along the way and twice tried to muster up some kind of faith I could ground myself in; but those moments rarely lasted more than a day or two. I wrote about one of those moments in April of 2022.

Fast forward a couple of years to July 2023. I headed back to our trailer after my work week to join my wife who had been there all week. The site where we leave our trailer is at Camp des Bouleaux in Grand-Remous, QC. Many of our friends were there that week and on the Friday afternoon I joined them on the beach where we chatted for about an hour. These buddies of mine are outspoken Christians who are grounded in their faith, their love for Jesus and their hope that God is working toward making all things new. Even though I no longer shared these beliefs with them I still continued to appreciate their friendship and being with them.

Later that evening, my wife was going to join a larger group at the main camp fire site. I told her I preferred to stay at the trailer and have a quiet campfire of my own. I was open to people coming to join me but I did not want to be in that larger crowd and their conversations about what God had been doing in their lives. A little while later one of my buddies from the afternoon came to join me and we had a good chat. We exchanged stories regarding where life had lead us up to that point and we chatted about faith. I told him that I was rather indifferent toward it all, that I didn’t think God existed and that the answer to whether or not there is a god seemed irrelevant. Told him I hadn’t been to church in a long time and didn’t really have any interest of going outside of perhaps going once in a while to stay connected with friends.

Suddenly, a man with leprosy approached him and knelt before him. “Lord,” the man said, “if you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean.”

Jesus reached out and touched him. “I am willing,” he said. “Be healed!” And instantly the leprosy disappeared. 

Matthew 8:2-3 (NLT)

The next morning I woke up and I tossed up a quick thought (or perhaps it was a prayer); “God, if you are there and you want to renew my faith and for me to have faith like my friends, you are going to have to do something pretty amazing because I am so not interested anymore.” Then I got up and went about my morning as I usually do at the trailer. I made my coffee and headed outside to start a nice morning campfire where I would spend the next 2 hours enjoying the morning, sipping on my coffee, reading, watching the birds and squirrels, and listening to the fire crackle.

About 30 minutes in, things got weird. There was no windstorm, no thunder or lightning, no earthquake and no huge devouring fire. I didn’t even hear a whisper. There was simply a moment where my head shot up in surprise as I found myself filled with a renewed faith in God and his project of renewing all things through Jesus. It’s all I could think about. I wasn’t thinking about it in disbelief but rather was filled with excitement and hope. I don’t know what happened. One moment I’m sitting there as described above simply taking things in and the next my whole being felt like it was in hyperdrive with all these thoughts rushing back into my mind with a firm assurance filling my heart and soul. It felt very weird but was also undeniable.

It was not at all what I had in mind when I tossed up my little “prayer” less than one hour earlier. Perhaps it was even more amazing than what I had in mind. Similarly to the leper in Matthew 8, I had sort of asked God if he wanted to restore my faith and he answered with a simple “yes, I do.” And it was done. I don’t have any other way to explain it. Today, one month later, I still feel somewhat shaken and disoriented by that moment.

I’m thankful for the difficult years of deconstructing my faith and the breakup that came out of it. I wouldn’t want it any other way. Now I’m just figuring out where to go from here!

2 years ago I used this blog to be more public about my breakup with God so today I’m using the same means to be public about my restored faith and how God did it. Part of me is worried that you might think I’m a weirdo or that I’ll become like “one of them”. I don’t know what “one of them” means for you so maybe I am and maybe I’m not. You’ll have to ask me.

There you have it. More to come.

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A regular dude who remains hopeful in the promise of the renewal of all things. I write about faith, spirituality and relationships with a desire to encourage and inspire. Un gars ordinaire qui garde espoir dans la promesse du renouvellement de toutes choses. J'écris sur la foi, la spiritualité et les relations avec le désir d'encourager et d'inspirer.

19 thoughts on “When God Whispers Your Name

  1. Merci George d’ouvrir ton cœur et parler en toute transparence de ce que plusieurs chrétiens expérimentent. Thanks for being so honest, transparent and authentic…we need more of this in our world…especially in our Christian world and churches. May God bless you and continue to work within you to minister to other who experiment similar situations.

    Dieu était au travail et il continue de t’utiliser pour sa plus grande gloire! Bravo pour ton blog!

  2. Praise God! I also ran away from God for more than 2 years, and was rescued like you from my studied unbelief by a “sudden faith in God and his project of renewing all things through Jesus” in 2005. For me that took the image of great ship. This ship was a symbol of God’s Will. I felt compelled to jump in with both feet. Otherwise God’s Will was going to happen no matter what but simply without me. My doubts persisted initially but I had a complete peace to believe as you describe. There are certain intellectual appetites that I have had to abstain from to “guard my heart above all things” The peace was and is too precious of gift to lose to my appetites, I now have come to identify as unhealthy. It took years to re-discover foundational principals on which to re-build the faith I had deconstructed. The road ahead is a long one. May the Lord bless you and keep you. Make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May He lift up His contenance upon you and give you peace (Numbers 6:24-26)

  3. Nous sommes heureux que Dieu ait à nouveau touché ton coeur. Dès que l’on se tourne vers lui il répond. Quel Dieu miséricordieux. Nous sommes contents de savoir
    ton histoire avec Dieu.

  4. Amen! God works in mysterious ways! Que Dieu continue à te diriger dans la direction nouvel pour toi.

  5. Not a weirdo. Just an honest man, who likes to share what he’s experiencing and learning with others. I have continued to pray for you and your family and enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing.

  6. As i read, the thing that kept coming to mind was “love is patient”. The incredible patience with which the Lord dealt with you in this season (and with all of us) astounds me. Thank you for sharing your story and the story of God in your life. May that sudden faith continue to build and may you continue to find joy continually as the Holy Spirit renews you from the inside out. Love you brother.

    1. Hey Joel, it’s great to hear from you. I hope you are well. Thank-you. Yes, love is patient! Thank-you for that reminder. I’ll take a look at your blog.

  7. Georges, your story reminds me of CS Lewis coming to faith on his way to meet with Tolkien at the local zoo on September 28th 1931.

    “When we set out I did not believe that Jesus Christ was the Son of God, but when we reached the zoo I did. I had not exactly spent the journey in thought, nor in great emotion. ‘Emotional’ is perhaps the last word we can apply to some of the most important events. It was more like when a man, after a long sleep, still lying motionless on the bed, becomes aware that he is now awake.”

    It also reminds me of my own awakening in 2017 – a long and painful process of the Surgeon breaking and resetting spiritual bones.

    You are a man of humility, honesty and intelligence. Welcome back, brother.

  8. What can one say but thank you to a God who restores and redeems. This world can blind so many. I am especially grateful for your wife and kids to have you ” back”. Thank you for your honesty. Your wife’s comment about continuing on her journey as a believer on her own if she had to, if her family all.made other choices, is one of the bravest statements in the blog. Hold on tight to her, Georges! Welcome back.

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